Woodlife

…or should I say, I got Doris stuck!

The conservation group had decided to deter the rabbits nibbling at the orchids and so we had collected some orange plastic fencing to put around an area to the south side of the woods. Having the only off-road vehicle I was tasked to deliver the fencing to the edge of the wood via the field.

We successfully erected the fencing and I waved goodbye drooling at the prospect of a Sunday roast wating for me at home. My last shout through the open window was, “I love these 4×4′s.” The kiss of death! From then on, it all went downhill. Instead of following the muddy ruts as I should have, I tried to turn and go across them. I think somebody shouted something which caused me to stop. Mistake number two. The back wheels settled into a deep rut at an angle of 90 degrees. From there on I think I did things right, but to no avail. I rocked Doris forward and backwards; I waggled the steering wheel; I spun the wheels a little to try to get some mud off; I tried all the gears. Nothing. She was stuck …and stuck.
 

Nothing to do but ashamedly call the farmer and have a cup of tea.

After 20 minutes the farmer came out complete with his tractor and we tried to tow poor old Doris out. I had a sinking feeling as I watched the the tractor’s wheels spin round and round. This wasn’t normal mud. It was a clay based, sticky, horrible mire. “She ain’t goin’ nowhere.” I’ll wait for the summer then. Should be dry enough to drive out by then!

How’s about a tandem tow? The farmer agreed and went off to get another 4×4 and his son; meanwhile I collected some dead branches to act as traction and started to dig with my trusty folding shovel. I always keep a shovel in the back of the 4×4. At least I got something right!

Another twenty minutes later, and we were ready. The farmer had changed the tractor for his own 4×4 and his son brought his. You must imagine a quite proposterous sight of a Land Rover towing a Land Rover towing a Land Rover. Needless to say I had no time to take pretty pictures after the original one above.

At last, Doris started to move and out of the rut she came. We didn’t stop until we found some relatively hard ground. That will definately cost me a crate of beer but apart from that and my pride, nothing was harmed. Hence I now issue Pablo’s off road driving tips for mud:

Follow ruts; don’t go against them.
Keep moving – don’t stop for nowt.
Spin the wheels to get rid of mud; but only do this when moving.
If you do come to a halt, rock the vehicle backwards and forwards.
If you stop, turn the steering wheel alternatively left and right about an eighth of a turn each way.
Let the tyres down so there’s more traction.
Always carry a spade.
Use branches, clothes or anything else under the wheels to act traction.
2nd gear and low diff is good, but try other gears as well.
If all else fails – have a nice cup of tea and await rescue.
Be prepared to relinquish beer.
Wash off all mud from underneath the vehicle as soon as possible. Dried mud will get into the moving parts and possibly damage the vehicle.

Pablo.